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"You don't whisper anymore."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

"We met in the Galapagos."

'Meet my significant other.'

"When I first met him, he wanted to change the world for me. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him to change his underpants."

'I don't worry about Harold putting the cap back on the toothpaste. He never takes it off!'

"....And when we retire at night, she suddenly develops a critical head dysfunction!"

"You know I don't like to cuddle."

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

"I want you to have it. It's a lock of my hair replacement."

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

Man locked in latex costume

"Mom, Dad, this is Eddie, my heart's shaman!"

'I'm worried about him. He's becoming emotionaly involved with the vacuum cleaner.'

Young girl asking a boy what he owns before they can be married

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

'My sister married some bum of a copy machine — he only works now and then!'

"Carl, I'm pleased that your experimental serum has finally allowed you to evolve into a giant grasshopper, but I just can't see myself having a relationship with someone whose ear is in their knee."

Computamatch.

'Maybe she has allergies.'

Gerald didn't care that Lila was just using him for his straw.

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Lesser-Known 'Conscious Uncouplings

All the other cavemen were jealous of Oomak's extremely tall girlfriend.