Quirky Recipe Creator Pillows

My favorite tea: Hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Giraffe Selfie

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Baker Romance

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Stupid Microwave

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Witches of Instagram

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Amy Sedaris

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'