Quirky Quoting Enthusiast Gifts

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Is the water cold?'

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Tasty.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"The usual."

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

Piano Prompt

Mom $50 Pop $35

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

'Have you been feeding him cat food again?'

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."