Quirky Psychologist T-Shirts

"How long have you felt purrfect?"

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'I hear voices.'

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

The Map of the human brain

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Large print e-book.

Dreams I have had...

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"Am I sensing fear?"

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."