Quirky Property Collector Pillows

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Things are looking up!"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."