Quirky Pet Collector Pillows

'Avant garde dog for sale.'

'I wanted a parrot-Giles wanted organic fresh eggs,so we compromised...'

Buy one get one glued to the side of your face

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Inbreeding Mishaps

Medical Bird.

'I'm sorry, but we're all out of both whales and eagles.'

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"Hey kids! - look what I found at the local animal shelter!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Toadstools

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Duck Hunt

Piranhaclaus

Raincloud Umbrella

Early cyborg.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."