Quirky Present Giver Gifts

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cheeze Wiz.

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Easter Island Cheeseheads

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Ball as water-melon.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

A watch face with Stonehenge

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'We have three minutes left.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

High speed cinder block

Where Deviled Eggs come from

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.