Quirky Gift Givers Gifts

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'Sure, I'll buy a watch. You take plastic?'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Harry is nice, but his gifts are so impractical.'

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Go on, open it! Another (cursing symbols) scarf

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'Have you considered cremation as a cheaper alternative?'

'we're sorry son - Father Christmas failed his CRB check.'

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cheeze Wiz.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Emergency Phone.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Easter Island Cheeseheads

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Ball as water-melon.

'We have three minutes left.'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

A watch face with Stonehenge