Quirky Phone User Pillows

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"Tap anywhere to begin."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"There's nothing wrong with your stereo. We just switched jobs. I'm now the tweeter and he's the woofer."

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

Computer problems

Listenin' in

Frequently Asked Questions

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"What has one horn and gives milk?"

"How long have you been delusional?"

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

Alexander Graham Bell

'We'll see you again in three months time, then, sir.'

"So when are you going - to invent the boat?"

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

"Go ahead, I can listen and text."

"No it's simply sick from all the filth you've downloaded."

Eskimo and his PC in fridge.