Quirky Phone Call Lover Pillows

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'The King of what?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Listenin' in

Collar I.D.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

"Yes, crazy does sometimes beat sane... but rarely during a job interview."

'You can't put me on hold... I'm putting you on hold!'

"I'm sick of you going off on me all the time!"

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

Dog Chatlines...