Quirky Pet Tales Appreciator Pillows

I'm really sorry about your dust mop - I thought it was a cat!

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

'Oh! She's such a pretty ba-a-by!! Yes, she is! A Pretty, pretty ba-a-a-b!...'

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'See what I mean, Doc?'

Nutty Assistants

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

'It's a good owl dog.'

"It's the peacock-removal guy."

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

Man giving one end of a dinosaur's lead to another man.

"Mittens, you are one wacky cat."

Christmas Puppy Bow

"I came as soon as I heard."

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'I just can't figure it out.'

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

"Of course, he's very low maintenance."

"I see you bought more of these! Must you live up to your name, Mittens?"

May 1939 - The Germans invade Poland (Surrepitiously)