Quirky Pet Ownership Pillows

'Gee, you wouldn't turn away one lonely, pregnant flea, would you?'

Dog Walking Services

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

He won't sit, but he heels well.

"He was a sea rescue."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Cat Show

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"Lap fish..."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

Upper East Side Dog Park

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."