Quirky Pet Owners Pillows

"We named him 'Enron' because he shreds everything."

New - anaerobic organisms in air-tight containers.

"He's more of a shoulder dog than a lap dog."

'No No Colin! - we don't wrap Gerbils!'

Punk walking a dog, lead is attached to his own dog collar.

"That dog training school we sent him to was all they said it would be!"

'It's not often you see an eskimo dog in the burbs!'

"I ran out of space for tattoos so I've started on the dog."

"You don't being me flowers any more."

"Why's your cat called Cheap Loo Paper?"

"Maybe we shouldn't have named him Bandit."

Pet Circle

'He has fleas... sheds, and his breath stinks.'

'Hey, Fred -- want to see a stupid pet trick?'

'His previous owner was a personal-injury lawyer, which explains why he will play dead, but I can't get him to speak.'

'Why can't he just fetch the paper?'

101 uses of a dead cat: vehicle bumpers.

Dog fetches dice

'Fully house trained, is it?'

Gavin sends his Pet Rock to a rock concert.

Cat dons scuba gear to go after fish in aquarium.

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

Pet cat brings down a dinosaur

'And how long do you think you may have had OCD?'

"Why can't you bury your bones in the garden like other dogs?"

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"This is why I wanted an indoor cat."

Dog Walking Services

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"He was a sea rescue."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"