Quirky Pet Memorialist Gifts

"She was a good turtle."

"He was a very good boy."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"Lap fish..."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Artists Cats

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"Teach me not to care."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

I know they told me not to bark

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

'Oh! She's such a pretty ba-a-by!! Yes, she is! A Pretty, pretty ba-a-a-b!...'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'See what I mean, Doc?'

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'Interesting. . . 'While dogs respond to dog whistles, wolverines respond only to cash and traveler's checks.''

"She's a weiner cat."

Dog Heaven