Quirky Pet Memorialist Gifts

"She was a good turtle."

"He was a very good boy."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Lap fish..."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Upper East Side Dog Park

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Artists Cats

"Teach me not to care."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

'Interesting. . . 'While dogs respond to dog whistles, wolverines respond only to cash and traveler's checks.''

'See what I mean, Doc?'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'Oh! She's such a pretty ba-a-by!! Yes, she is! A Pretty, pretty ba-a-a-b!...'

Dog Heaven

"What's so amazing? It's a paint by the numbers artist kit."

"She's a weiner cat."