Quirky Performer Admirer T-Shirts

Snail one man band.

'He's maturing early.'

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Giant Sale!

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

The Dancing Academy

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Today - Oswald the Human Wonder will Dive 1000 feet into a tea cup. (Lifeguard sitting nearby).

Dog With Extravagant Face Mask

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

I am a bass/baritone/tenor.

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"No-chance the rapper"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

London Fly-Paper Vendor

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'