Quirky Medical Scenario Lover Pillows

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Paging for a Doctor

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"We have a favor to ask."

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"I'm afraid you have a slow, painful, terminal disease, so I'm sending you to a hospital where you can catch a quicker one."