Quirky Medical Scenario Lover Prints

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Paging for a Doctor

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"We have a favor to ask."

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"It's marzipan pigs."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."