Quirky Jobs Pillows

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

'Of course I have to poke people, Mom! It's my job!'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

Latrinologist

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

"Any other strengths?"

"Any other skills?"

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested