Quirky Item Collectors Pillows

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

Attack using an offensive weapon

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Toadstools

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Raincloud Umbrella

Duck Hunt

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Piranhaclaus

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.