Quirky Item Collectors Pillows

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

Attack using an offensive weapon

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Toadstools

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Piranhaclaus

Duck Hunt

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Early cyborg.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Cheeze Wiz.

Best before 65 million BC.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Ice shelfie.

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Inflating Boobs.