Quirky Internet Historian Gifts

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Moses on the web

Archimedes statue with a lever

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

The dead sea scrolls

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other lik

A caveman attempting to make a cart

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

"...Coulda been huge, man."

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

Man at computer sees 'Y2K' comet coming towards him

"You look good for your age."

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Useless-memory lane

Cat scratch fever

Preserved head and mobile phone.

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

Previously indecipherable, Professor Wiggins translates another ancient text using the newly discovered Rosetta phone.

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

Adam and Eve

Ancient man

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....