Quirky Illustrator Gifts

How different foods crunch.

'Of course I didn't palm it, fellas, it just stuck to my butt.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Joined at the hipster.

Bubble gum leaves

Apple Pie Abduction

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Cat and Dog Bike

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Mind if I join you?'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

Tupperware Wolf

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

A dog whose nose is a gun.