Quirky Illustrator Gifts

How different foods crunch.

'Of course I didn't palm it, fellas, it just stuck to my butt.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Bubble gum leaves

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Apple Pie Abduction

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

Cat and Dog Bike

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

Tupperware Wolf

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.