Quirky Home Finder Pillows

"This place is perfect. It must have been built for us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"The smaller horn is really a satellite radio antenna."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

"You rang?"

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

Homes of the font designers

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

Unusual Staircase

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

"I bought a new summer condo."

'I'm sure a little baking soda will freshen it up in here.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Junk Mail Shredder.