Quirky Health Solution Seeker T-Shirts

This might sting a little.

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm screwed...'

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

"Stop the barking .50"

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

Dr. Potato Head

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"

'It's kidney stones.'

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

The high fibre diet

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist.