Quirky Health Solution Seeker Pillows

This might sting a little.

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

'I'm screwed...'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

"Stop the barking .50"

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

Dr. Potato Head

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"

'It's kidney stones.'

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

The high fibre diet

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."