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Yoga for Alcoholics

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Fruits and vegetables

Lady keeping fit by skipping with her mouse chord.

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

Live yogurt.

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Dr. Potato Head

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

'You are right; it does appear to be some kind of a fungus.'

Strict Diet,

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

The high fibre diet