Quirky Health Experimenter T-Shirts

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Quick! 5-second rule!

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Recombinant DNA Lab. It's a Rhinocerose!

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

Scientist with test tube.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'You say Merezenski did the exact same experiment, but did Merezenski add chocolate syrup at this point?'

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.