Quirky Health Experimenter T-Shirts

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Scientist with test tube.

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'You say Merezenski did the exact same experiment, but did Merezenski add chocolate syrup at this point?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

Sorry Doc, but once I start pulling on a thread I just can't seem to stop!