Quirky Gift Gatherer T-Shirts

We ran out of little umbrellas.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cheeze Wiz.

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Ball as water-melon.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

How Amazon was invented

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

A watch face with Stonehenge

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'We have three minutes left.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

High speed cinder block

Kissing the Fish

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Where Deviled Eggs come from