Quirky Funeral Goer Pillows

"You're right. He looks like he's just sleeping."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Speaking words of wisdom, letter B

Confessional bathroom

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

At the funeral of the amazing Voltar.

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"Thank you, but I don't feel it's necessary for you to play 'Charge' when I invite people to the altar."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"Norm, the piano tuna is here!"

"He was an amazing ventriloquist. Nobody knew just how amazing until now."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Coffin of clown on stilts is carried at funeral.

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'He had bad breath, but I suppose that was better than no breath at all.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Gravedigger

At Salvador Dali's funeral,

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

"We gather here today in memory of Chuckles, Kornflake, Doodles, Yo-Yo, Cupcake...."

'It's not a slip and it's supposed to be showing.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Thou shalt make room for donuts...it's a new commandment for the Church of Danae.'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"Sorry Judas, we only came up with 29 pieces of silver."

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.