Quirky Foodies Gifts

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

Fire Ants

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

'What do you fancy? A Zargoid Fliptonian, or a Martian?'

"There's a fly in my soup."

ICE CREAM 137 FLAVORS, 'If you just want plain ice cream, sir, you'll have to sign a vanilla waiver.'

"Parrot Fish? Well THAT is going to repeat on me later..."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Tzatzikicicle

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Ice Cream Flavors

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Octopi a la mode.

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Roadkill Restaurant

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'