Quirky Family Life Enjoyer Pillows

"My dad sleeps walks, and my mom sleep shops online."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Tzatzikicicle

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"I read the audio book."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'Hey Holly, Watch! Biscuit can catch a ginger snap in mid-air!!'

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

The best time capsules are our children.

"I've decided to have a kid."

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

"He followed me home...finally!"

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

"Michael, I think I found your bubble gum."

"So, how long have you been a double agent, Tommy?"

"How long before I have a dad body?"