Quirky Designer Gifts

'It's not an actual motorcycle. It's an exercise bike. I made it look like one so my husband would actually use it.'

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

'Is plaid holding me back?'

'It attracts females alright, but the Goth type...'

Balcony that resembles a scary mouth.

Tribal paint dept: 'Outdoor, indoor, WAR'

'We just got sick of having the cat's litter box in the house.'

Perspective Repair

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Hats and Food

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

I love the Shard

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Can that be right?"

Yard Sale

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

The Hammer

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

'It's not just any old rucksack Nathan. Nasa's entire spring collection is built around this baby.'

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Pinata Trophies

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."