Quirky Debris Collector Pillows

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

"How many bags to check in, sir?" "Only one piece of hand luggage." (case in the shape of a giraffe).

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

'Village store and Food museum'

For the new gardener.

"Where'd you get the business mitts?"

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

'Go away. I'm not buying any of your junk.'

Cat with mouse tie.

'Hmm, that would be great for grandpa.'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

"A bottle in the organs' bin? How many times do I have to tell you people: sort your recyclables?"

Instant winner trash can

Crumhorn

'Huh! There goes Sunday lunch!'

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

A guide to ancient instruments.

Octopus-bagpipes

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

"The council want you to have this extra bin madam. It's not for putting rubbish into through - it's just to take up any unused space in your front garden."

Skier with an anchor.

Off Road Wellies

Car sticker 'My other car is two welded together'