Quirky Tool Collector Pillows

Man About To Swat Fly With Live Frog

'Hmm, that would be great for grandpa.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Raincloud Umbrella

Duck Hunt

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Early cyborg.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Best before 65 million BC.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."