Quirky Dad Humor Gifts

Domestic scene, "You're dad enjoys a special relationship with the budgie"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Ostriches making out

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Next to Nothing

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

"Underweird bras."

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Note Book

How witness protection really works...

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"It's a dependent!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

D-Day (Dad Day)

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"