Quirky Cook Gifts

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'She's been cooking U.F.O's, unidentified fried objects!'

"Once cooked, leave to stand for 1 minute."

Ant Helper

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"Baldo, I can't believe it! How could you tell Tia Carmen that her pig feet stew is nasty?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I thought you liked bubble and squeak?"

'It's a spork!'

'And that's not all! You also get this attachment that lets you burn images of religious icons onto your grilled cheese sandwiches!'

'Look, hon. It's your favorite. Christmas pizza!'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'Well, duh, here's my problem...instead of non-stick spray, I bought Nun Stick Spray.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"Well you certainly targeted a well defined niche, but how comprehensive was your market analysis?"

I read that book on hot cereal. It started out simmering and bubbling with excitement. It rose to a boiling point but then just got mushy. After that it was just grueling!

Sam's Diner. What? You've never seen "House"Dressing before?

Dang, they fell through again – Maybe I should mash the worms into a patty. Peck the Cook.

Who wants to lick the swatters.

Ribbons for Everyday Life: Cooked A Strange Vegetable, Ironed a Shirt, Remembered Her Name, Removed Rock From Shoe.

"Honey, this fruitcake is fantastic!" "Empty plate here! Gimme some more!" "That's because I replaced the candied cherries and nutmeg with lithium and Prozac!" "You gonna eat the rest of that?!"

"Caution: this tomato soup combined with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas."

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'