Quirky Conversation Pillows

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Modern romance'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I speak Latin, you know."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'