Quacky Conversations Pillows

"Now, that's really weird: The farmer's kids have a rubber duck in their bath!"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"How about a hand."

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Dialogue

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"