Quirky Communication Pillows

"Hey betty, long time, ha ha. Anyway, I just found out I have coronavirus. You should probably get tested."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'How do you get to Bingling Bros. circus?'

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

"I was rather hoping you'd be using incisive rebuttals based on an eclectic knowledge of the subject area!"

NHS England to ensure all GPs can work from home if isolating.

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

People talking through a stethoscope.

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"Try to smile a bit louder."

'She lithpth!'