Quirky Communication Pillows

"Hey betty, long time, ha ha. Anyway, I just found out I have coronavirus. You should probably get tested."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I speak Latin, you know."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

'Modern romance'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

~ S.O.S.

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'How do you get to Bingling Bros. circus?'

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"I was rather hoping you'd be using incisive rebuttals based on an eclectic knowledge of the subject area!"

People talking through a stethoscope.

Wow, that's really a thing of beauty! Have you ever thought about being a uvula model?

"Try to smile a bit louder."

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

NHS England to ensure all GPs can work from home if isolating.