Quirky Connection Seeker Gifts

Symbiotic Connections

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

WiFi Signals

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"I've been entangled with a photon on the other side of the galaxy for eons, and then yesterday, out of the blue, she said she wants to date OTHER particles!"

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

Unplugged.

Desert Island Water skiing.

Sure you can twitter, but can you chirp, warble and trill?

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

"Well Frank, now I've met you, I think I'll adjust my visibility, click profile, locate visibility options and make myself available for a second date..."

Water. Free wireless access. Water. Free wireless access.

Face painting vs bottom painting

Connecting

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.