Quirky Claim Pursuer T-Shirts

'I sue DEAD people.'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

Dr. Fassbinder vanishes into thin air after failing to prove his existence.

SHRUNKEN ID STRIP#1Post modernism "so 90's"

Claiming the North Pole for Mother Russia isn't as much fun as I thought.

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

"Well, Judge. I trained to be a dentist whilst I was incarcerated. I've always wanted to thank you for that six year prison sentence."

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

'Fortunately, you have enough money to get the law on your side.'

'This should really freak out the bird watchers.'

'He's invented a new cocktail, trouble is he can't get as far as the patent office.'

'Most exotic fleas'

'Oh, stop complaining. The diet is working, isn't it?'

Term Life Insurance

Home Owner's Insurance Adjuster of the Year

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

'I want to break the world record on how many flies I can fit into a Mini.'

'Give me the non-smokers rate. I only smoke when I'm visiting you.'

FIFA Scandal

'This is Carlson. He never met a frivolous lawsuit he didn't like.'

Why appliance repairmen don't make cold calls.