Quirky Award Lover T-Shirts

"Wait a minute! This is for winning a beard contest!"

Abductee of the Month

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Nun Fight.

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Hit a duck, win a prize.

Base chapel.

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Champion.

The Oscars

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'

Red Carpet

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

"Today our teacher gave everyone lifetime achievement awards."

Academy Awards

"And the award for best interruption of an oscar speech goes to. . . The Woodwinds."