Quirky Accolade Appreciator T-Shirts

'Actually, this is the award I'm proudest of.'

Skeleton playing fetch.

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

Arrivals, Purgatory, Departures.

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

"Are you binge watching again?"

"Give me back my scarf and hat!"

'OK, I'll admit it. You're a genius at parallel parking.'

the bad news is she has worms. The good news is they're earworms.

Abductee of the Month

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

Log in, paper out.

"What are you doing?!"

Ninja vs. the invisible man. . . or is the cartoonist just bein' lazy?

"It says here there's a pug in Peoria that can play the harmonica."

Undertakers Pole

This episode would be known as 'The sink of doom!'

You're a Hell of a Squirrel but You're Still a Squirrel

Staff Toothpick of the Month.

Kissing Booth

"Some of us negotiate our contracts better than others."

'Dave? This diploma is from Uncle Willie's 21 day College of Neurology, this is an award for second prize in a bowling tournament, and this is for third prize in a pig-calling contest.'

PLEASE [continued on next card].

"He hated funerals. His last words were, ‘Wake me up when it's over.'"

Dermatology Lab. Employee Evaluations Today. What a great evaluation! They said they're going to name a rash after me!

Genetic Research Institute.

"I'd like to thank Ed for not cutting the grass and farmer Moley, who didn't slaughter me."

If anyone offers you a headswap, just say no!

I may be marching to a difference beat, but you are hardly Gene Krupa!

"Fortunately, I'm a specialist, Miss Dawson, because you're special."

'Let's see what we can get for these gold stars!'

Santa naked.