Quirky Author Pillows

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

Albert Einstein

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Best before 65 million BC.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Glance Exchange

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"It's just a tree."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"How about a hand."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"Don't editorialize."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."