Quirky Advertiser Gifts

'So do you have any marketing strategies that don't involve 'Really Big Shoes'?'

'I Can't Believe It's NOT Dung!'

Closures 'R' Us - Embalming, Burials and Cremations.

Direct Marketing...

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"That's our new church mascot."

Floss Street Vendor

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp.'"

Doomsday marketing

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

Advertising meets cryptozoology...

'He brings a bizarrely different perspective to our marketing.'

Johnny Appleseed's less popular brother, Joey Kiwi.

Free Hamster, "That's novel, getting a free hamster with every meal."

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

'You may know us by our generations of disciplined, global investment strategies...or perhaps you like the 70's heavy metal rock band we use in our commercials...'

'Do you want to buy this cow from 'Windy Field Farm'?'

'It's true, you're a big star: The Zoo has posted photos of you all over town...'

For a good trial, call Ed Beegley attorney...

"New super select-a-size! 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet, 1/8 sheet (make-up remover), 1/16 sheet (spider killer), 1/32 sheet (booger getter), 1/64 sheets (zit squeezers)."

Alt. TP

Our Staff Picks

"I think he's running as an independent."

Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.

"No need to mention that the one owner was a driving school."

'Eat at my place, I'm very lonely'