Quirky Adopters Gifts

'And here's your cod, 'Arthur'.'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"He was a sea rescue."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

Football Crazy strip six

"Lap fish..."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"Peace. Love. Adopt."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Dog fetches dice

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

"He's a fussy eater."

'Monster mobiles.'

'What's wrong with you?'

'Last month's technology' bin next to electronics store.

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

'Interesting. . . 'While dogs respond to dog whistles, wolverines respond only to cash and traveler's checks.''

'He's invented blogging.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'