Quiet Reflection Fan Gifts

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Cat and Broom

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Relax.

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I worry that some people find me boring"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Surveillance over the suggestion box.