Quiet Reflection Fan Gifts

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Hot Pie Therapy

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Cat and Broom

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

Relax.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I worry that some people find me boring"

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."