Quiet Demeanor Gifts

"George is a deep thinker, but his thoughts rarely come to the surface."

Hush puppy.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"Show off."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

The best relationships are silent.

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"If someone says they're a leader and no one hears it, is it true?"

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'