Quicksand Quester Gifts

The head of a man sunk in desert sands

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Not-Quite-Quick-Enough Sand

Time Travel Research Lab

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'He's close -- he's developed a unified field theory for everything except anchovies.'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

The Water Diviner

"This job could lead to smaller things."

HELP WANTED - man in quicksand

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

'No! I don't know why they call it quicksand when it takes so long to kill you. Now shut up and help me think of a way to get out of here.'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Despite her initial concerns, in time, Linda grew to appreciate the endearing qualities of Dan's sleep, sashaying."

Tonight: Lecture on 4th Dimensional Physics and Ontological Topology. Buy Tickets Here. Sorry, fellas, but I'm going to have to see some IQ.

"Ooh, get the quantum theorist hiding behind that tree."