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Express Lane Ten Items Or Less Or A $5 Surcharge.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"Oh shut up."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

'Your check? Certainly,sir -- would you like it itemized?'

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

'Careful,dear- don't order anything you can't pronounce.'

Your lips still say "No," but you started out with six exclamation points above your head and now you're down to one. !

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

Pick a direction.

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

"'No' to that, too, eh? Then, may I suggest something we were going to throw out?"

"You should have told me you needed advice."

The only two things I never eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner.

'I would go with salmon on this one.'

"Which entrée raises the fewest ethical issues?"

"...the soup of today is more or less yesterday's chef's special......"

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

'Do you have any coffee?'