Queens Pillows

Elizabeth I

The Three Wise Queens

Queen of Quinoa

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

"Can you perform under pressure?"

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

Cleopatra

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."